If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
