Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
