Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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