I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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