You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
