I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
