It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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