When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
