She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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