2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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