yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
