No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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