What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This is the high leading the old right now
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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