did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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