so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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