Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
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i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
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That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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