Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
