im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
