She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
