I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize