I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
