I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
