We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize