Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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