just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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