O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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