I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
