I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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