I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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