I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize