Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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