Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
