piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
