Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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