All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize