Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize