i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
