clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
