Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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