You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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