Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
