I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
