she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
