i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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