oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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