Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.

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(785): View more from Kansas

So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.

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(419): View more from Ohio

then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

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(404): View more from Georgia

The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)

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(775): View more from Nevada

Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.

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