This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
