What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
