hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
