AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
