guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Barsexuality is the new black.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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