youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize