Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize