You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
