May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize