You're so nebulous sometimes
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
