Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
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I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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