go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
