hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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